I realized something tonight. We have heard a LOT this year about staying safe and keeping others safe. It’s a hugely important thing, but I think we’re missing the mark.

Most people I know are conscientious about keeping themselves and others safe physically. I recognize that various friends have different ideas of the best ways to do that, and I believe that a vast majority act without malice. I don’t believe my friends on either side of the divide go about their days with or without masks, welcoming or protesting lockdowns, etc. with a careless attitude about making others ill or risking their lives.

So, what mark are we missing? The one that recognizes there is more at stake than physical health during these times. The debates I mentioned above are only 2 of the many that are argued in seemingly every place you look these days. Covid-19, U.S. Politics, Brexit, BLM, and so many other issues have created great divides in society around the world. And at times it feels like if your opinion differs from that of a person with whom you cross paths, they might happily toss you into the chasm dividing your views and walk on without a second thought.

As I was chatting with some new friends this evening, I realized I haven’t been completely myself for a while now. I remember taking a personality assessment nearly twenty years ago, and my result was almost off the chart for the personality type that will be communicative and open when they feel it’s safe to do so. In trying to figure out why I’ve been extra quiet lately, it occurred to me that I haven’t felt completely “safe” for a good while now.

Even before I moved, there were many times I felt on guard about certain subjects or around certain people, but I always knew there were friends close by with whom I could let the guard down and be myself. Even if we disagreed on some things, there was enough relationship to know it was safe to be me and have a conversation about our differing viewpoints.

Since moving, that safety net isn’t as close by. Of course, I’ve still had people I can be real with from a distance – praise God for Facetime, Messenger, Zoom and Whatsapp! But I’m beginning to realize I’ve had a bit of a shield up for months, and I’m tired.

I’d like to believe that time will fix this, and to some degree maybe that’s true. It does take time to build strong relationships… but it also takes bravery and grace. It means being brave and having grace enough to be vulnerable, to be myself, and to be the one to make others feel safe in this tumultuous time.

So now that I realize I’ve been hiding behind a wall, I have some work to do. It’s time to break down the façade and start showing the real Stephanie to people here. It’s time to be myself and show others that they are free to do the same.

How about you? Are you being yourself? Are you letting others know it’s safe for them to do the same? While we’re trying to keep each other safe from Covid-19, let’s not forget to also provide safety from what may be a far more dangerous fate.