Hello. Happy 2018! I hope you had a wonderful holiday season. I have no good excuse for the long stretch of time between posts. I have thought dozens of times about writing a post, felt guilty for not writing, and pondered what I would write about – all with no results. I simply haven’t known what to say despite the many thoughts swirling in my head during the last few weeks.
I am mostly settled into life here at the Ranch (as much as one can settle when only here for another three and a half months). I have transitioned during the last 6 weeks from working in food service to being full-time with the Chaplain’s Office as the worship leader and staff with the gap year program. It’s funny how God works. I knew the worship leader position was available when I applied for the food service job, but I had no interest in taking a position that would require me to pour into others spiritually or emotionally; I felt I had nothing to give and hoped this would be a season of resting and receiving instead. God had other ideas, and as usual, His ideas are best.
I began this year with a struggle. I usually spend time on the 1st of January (or the days leading up to it) praying and dreaming with God for the coming year. This year, I struggled. There were dreams I wanted to write down, but I wasn’t sure I was “allowed” to dream them anymore. For example, despite the fact that I have embraced life here for this season, a major dream of mine is for God to open a door back to Ireland. But I’m supposed to have let go, moved on and embraced this place and whatever God will do in the future. Could I still hope for that if I’ve surrendered it?
I finally wrote down my dreams and told God if they were no longer allowed or appropriate, He could speak something different and redirect. Instead of redirecting, I felt like God told me to keep dreaming and hoping and asking for the things in my heart, that He is still hoping and dreaming some of those same things too.
That idea struck me as odd. We don’t often think of God hoping for things. Many times we assume that God always gets His way, so why would He need to hope for anything. But as a friend pointed out to me in 1 Corinthians 13, Love “hopes all things.” God is Love, so God hopes. He is the source of hope!
I don’t know what will happen this year. I don’t know if dreams will come true, if hope will be deferred, if new dreams will be discovered or fulfilled. My guess is all of the above will be involved throughout the year. What I do know is God is my hope. As long as He is hopeful, I will hold onto hope too, and I will see the goodness of the Lord this year no matter where it takes me.